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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Jealousy

The warped human mind. An emotion typically of negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love.
The talent I have, the passion I have in computer programming, the creative problem solving skills that has proven to be triumph with every memory leak I solved, every database conflict I resolved with vendors providing amateurish coding skills and employees with supposedly good logical programming skills.
I used my savings from being a researcher to start my small passion and I'm still struggling in this world 7 months after I started. 17 months ever since I started planning for it. Constantly multi tasking between multi touch technologies and my father's business.
How heaven plays with people. A god sent "son". My age, my talent but a different field. A money making one. One that my father would love. On the way to marriage with a gorgeous wife. A trap he laid perfectly to allow my father to let him use his fortune to build his own.
Why do I care? Why am I jealous? My father has seen what I can do. He has seen what this pseudo-son of his do...or has he? The game has just begun. He has no idea what this pseudo-son has up his sleeve. With his guard down with my father triumph? I warned him. I have done my duty to warn him. Its up to him to pay for his lesson.
I want to stick to my passion. I can take over his business. I can join the money making entrepreneurial passionless rat race or know that my interactive technology is never going to be scalable with the meager capital. Never in time at least before I have to join the rat race that my father needs me to take over so that he can retire. Time is running out.